intention: inˈten(t)SH(ə)n/ (noun) an aim or plan (Websters, 2005)

We are all thinking about the New Year and new ways of being.  Here are 5 quick steps to a happy, healthy & successful 2015 with your children.

1. Understand your past and how it affects your present. Attachment theorists have shown that the greatest predictor of how a child will develop is how their parents make sense of their own lives. Process how your past affects you and your children will benefit.
2. Stop comparing. Comparison is an automatic response to make sense of our world. Our brains make lists and logic maps about our everyday choices and our children place us on overdrive when it comes to making lists and “getting it right.” The next time you compare yourself to another parent, give yourself (and the other parent) a break.
3. Ask for forgiveness. The greatest gift you can give your child is setting an example of how to handle a “negative” emotion. Apologize the next time you do something you regret.  You’ll show him how to apologize, remind him that you respect him enough to apologize for your behavior and teach him empathy and compassion.
4. State and keep clear and concise rules. We often speak with complicated messages that confuse children. Avoid yes or no questions for kids under 7. Try “It’s time to pick up your toys” instead of “Can you please pick up your toys?” to avoid getting a “No.”
5. Maintain a routine. Kids understand time and feel safe when they can predict what comes next. Set up and stick to a routine and your whole family will be happier.

Here’s to a successful 2015!  Hope to see you this upcoming year at our Nest!

Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA, program director of The Nest in Miami, is an expert in child and adolescent development and infant and early childhood mental health, having worked and trained at Vista Del Mar, Yale’s Minding the Baby, National Child Traumatic Stress Network, and Child Trauma Research Program.